Losing a piece of you
by FayeMia
Summary: Just Wanda's thoughts as Pietro is hit and the aftermath of losing her twin. I don't own any of the characters.
1. Hell breaks loose

A/N: As much as I want to, I don't OWN any of them

Spoilers for character death.

She'd known. As soon as the first bullet had hit him, she'd known. What she didn't know, was how it would be to feel the world giving way beneath her feet. She didn't know what it was like to have your heart wrenched out, inhumanely. She didn't know what it was to have a part of you, a very prominent part at that, leave you. She didn't know how it felt like to die.

Now she did.

She was unstable. Yes. Her powers made her that. And he was her anchor. Her voice of sanity. The one who brought her back back from her insane rages.

There was a part of her that didn't believe it. That couldn't believe it. He was gone. The one person who had been with her since before she came into this world. The only one who never left her side. Come what may.

And then there was a part of her, which felt empty. Which KNEW that he was gone. Forever out of her reach. Even she couldn't bring him back. She who had powers which were unknown. Powers no one had ever seen.

The scream that had left her at the dreaded realization was of pain, of guilt, of loss. The loss of something so very precious to her. The guilt of letting him go. She should've just let him stay. At least he wouldve been safe. Safe from harm. From Ultron. She couldve protected him. Had she let him stay with her.

The momentary relief she'd felt wile ripping out Ultrons heart was VERY shortlived. She shouldve made him suffer more. She should've gauged out his eyes. Should've shredded him into little pieces. Make him realise the pain he had inflicted on her.

But then she'd given in. To death. Quite peacefully. Thinking she'd be reunited with her brother. Hell or Heaven? It didn't matter as long as they were together. Nothing had ever mattered to them, as long as they were together.

But then Vision had scooped in. Like the hero he was, to save her from the death that was surely coming towards her. He'd taken her to the helicarrier. To where Pietro lay, asleep it seemed. Someone had taken a moment to arrange him like that. Beside him, half on the floor and half on the seat lay Hawkeye or Agent Barton. The one she'd come to like, despite him putting a arrow on her head. He was a nice man, she'd concluded. He'd saved her. He was the one who had given her the courage to right their wrongs.

'Is he...?' She couldn't complete the sentence as she heard the steady drip drip of blood from Barton's ribs to the floor and saw the irregular rise and fall of his chest. Her mind screamed another NO. She couldn't lose two people in a single day. She liked Hawkeye. She'd come to admire him. After Pietro, he seemed like the only one who'd make a difference to her. She couldn't do this. As she screamed, this time verbally, she felt strong arms go around her. 'Hey kid. Its gonna be okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' She barely recognised the voice of Tony Stark. Lost in her grief, she barely noticed Natasha and the Captain bent over Clint, yes that was his name, laying him on the floor, beside her brother, to assess his condition.

'Hey hey... Shush shush... It's alright. You are OK. Clint will be OK. He's just lost a lot of blood. You are safe now. You listening to me? Shush. It'll be OK. I'm sorry.' Tony Stark kept whispering in her ears. Words that meant nothing. Not when all was lost. She had lost her everything. Yet he was here. He was consoling her. It all was kinda unreal to her.

Her first instinct after recognising the person consoling her was to blast him away. The second thought was that what he was saying was the truth. She did feel safe and yet lost at the same time. One feeling at a time, she said to herself as she broke down again in Tony's arms.

'Hey kid. Are you hurt?' He asked again, allowing Wanda to cry her heart out. The girl had just lost her twin. He couldn't even start to imagine what it must feel like. He remembered what his nightmare had felt like. To lose the only real friends that he had in life. He remembered what it had felt like to lose Pepper.

The girl had lost her other half. He forced her away from him when he couldn't hear her response to his question. It was essential to him that she wasn't hurt. Tony wiped her tears as he gave her a once over, checking for signs of blood. 'It's gonna be ok' he again whispered, more to himself than her, it seemed. She slipped to the floor, unable to maintain her balance, and he was damn sure that the reason wasn't fatigue alone, as he slipped with her, all the while keeping her in his arms.

They sat there in the same position for how long, nobody really knew. All he remembered was she had trembled in his arms and the flow of tears had never stopped. So he'd been surprised when she had suddenly jerked her head up, hitting his jaw in the process. The reason for her sudden movement became quite clear when she tried to move towards where Clint lay. He was groaning and trying to sit up, when Natasha slapped him back down. 'You've lost quite a bit of blood Barton. You better stay put or I'm gonna strap you to this seat.' She growled.

The Witch girl seemed quite taken with Clint, Tony thought. That's weird. When did that happen? Clint was the only one who had been able to hurt the twins.

He was brought out of his thoughts, when he saw Wanda lean in and touch Barton's face. 'Are you okay?' She asked him in that weird accent of hers. 'Kid, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I am sorry. I didn't think he would do that. I never...' His rant was stopped as he coughed. 'What? What is he saying?'

He heard her ask. Guess she didn't know how her brother had died. Uh oh. This was gonna be nasty. Tony grimaced as Spangles told the Witch what his brother do to get so many holes in him. The kid was quite nice. Like Clint said, he was already missed.

Wanda heard the Captain tell her about her brother. Her 12 minutes older brother, who had died protecting a team-mate and a little kid. As much as she didn't want to admit it, even though the proof was right in front of her, her brother had died a honourable death. Oh the fool that he was. Part of her mind was telling her that she should hate Barton. Pietro had died because of him. But the little sane part of her was telling her that Barton was nowhere responsible. He hadn't asked Pietro to run in the line of fire. He hadn't asked to be saved. He was just hoping that his body would be enough to shield the child in his arms from the bullets. He was an Avenger and this was his job.

That was her last thought as she lost conscious.

She'd screamed. She'd cried. And then she'd screamed some more alongwith an ocean of tears.

Every tear and every scream was a pinch to Barton's heart. He had a brother once and he knew what it was like to lose one. His brother was the older one and it had hurt like hell. Even though his conditions were quite different...didn't make it easier. And the girl had lost a twin. That must've hurt even more.

He grimaced as a pain shot through his left side. He was supposed to be in bed. He wasn't supposed to be out in the corridor, standing by the window of Wanda's room, just looking at her like a creepy stalker. Yet, here he stood, by her room.

She had scraped knees, a deep gash on her left leg and a cut that ran down the length of her left arm, which had led to blood loss. Overall, it wasn't that bad. Not physically. But on mental level, he couldn't tell the how worse the damage was.

Her brother had died to protect him. That is all that had was going on in his mind for the last few hours. And now she was alone. All alone. Because of him. The least he could do was watch over her.

That was the exact moment when she started to twitch in her sleep, as if trying to hold on to something and gasping for breath.

She had woken up to bright sunlight and the feeling of someone's fingers slipping through hers. After a calm moment, to her horror, she realized that it was Pietro. She was 15, it seemed, and her brother was hanging off the cliff. She recognized the surroundings. And then Pietro's hand left hers.

Again, there she was running out of the rubble, what was once her home. Pietro was still trapped and then her world exploded as the missile did, in their house. Pietro was gone.

She knew these were just nightmares, in the wake of reality. And she had tried to wake up. She had. But somehow her powers wouldn't let her. At least that is what she thought. Her powers wanted her to know what she had done. What she was responsible for. She could hear someone call her.

'Wanda!' was the scream and in a flash she'd blasted them out, as she sat up gasping for breath, clutching on to her sleeve for dear life. It was Clint, she realized a moment later, when he got up from the floor.

'You got some serious powers, kid', he smiled. 'Are you ok? You were having a nightmare.' 'I'm sorry. I sometimes can't control them.', was her only reply as she scooted over to make space for Clint. 'You shouldn't be sorry for something that you have no control over', said Clint sitting down beside her. 'Hey. Look at me.' He whispered, when she didn't look up at him. 'I'm sorry. I truly am. And there is nothing I can do to make you feel better, is there? I'm just sorry.'

'Don't be. 'Tis not your fault. I don't blame you. He was my brother. Its just that he was only person I had in this world. Now I'm all alone.' She whispered through tears. And the words hit Clint like a thunderbolt. She was alone. Just like he had been once. As lonely as he had been and he knew the feeling. He knew it too well. But not anymore. Now, he had Laura, his kids, Nat and whatever you'd call their team as his family.

Something snapped as he suddenly pulled Wanda towards him and engulfed her in a hug, whispering ' you have me now. I know I can never replace your brother but I'll be your brother. From another mother, ofcourse.' He added. ' And I can't stop you from mourning him but shush. Sleep now. I'm here. I'll protect you. You're safe.'

And she chose to believe him. Beacuse she had felt warm and safe in his arms, just as she had felt with Pietro. He had said he would protect her. He could be her safe haven was her last thought as she drifted off to a peaceful sleep in his arms.


	2. And then

**A/N: I decided to write a second chapter. Hope its not too bad. Please leave a review! It makes me want to write more.**

* * *

It had been a month since the world has ended. At least for her. It had all ended for them too but in a quite different way, of course. Thor had left earth claiming to seek answers which he could get on Asgard only. Tony had left to spend some hard earned quality time with Pepper. Steve had gone to look for Bucky. Sam Wilson had been with him. Rhodey had ofcourse left with Tony. Vision had gone off to explore the world or so he said. Clint and Natasha, well- they were here.

But before that they had all attended Pietro's funeral. It was a small affair with only the team, Nick Fury and Mari Hill present. She had decided to buy him in the backyard of Clint's farm. And Clint had agreed after initially hesitating. His only question had been 'Why?'; and she had answered that this is what Pietro would have wanted- He liked Clint and warmth. Clint's farm was the closest to home that he would get to rest in peace and she'd be damned if she didn't give him that. No one really knew about Clint's farm except for a trusted few and so her brother had been laid to rest

The captain had tried to say a few words which included,'I didn't know Pietro much; but whatever I knew, it was all good about the kid. Like Clint had said, he is truly missed. I just want to...' And he had choked up before whispering,'I'm sorry.' Then he had walked up to her and pressed a kiss to her head.

Clint had stood near the coffin and murmered words that none of them could hear. Thor had summoned a very low and soft - if you could call the sudden explosion soft- lightening, right behind Pietro's coffin. Tony, who had been in attendance with Pepper, had simply placed a single yellowish white rose on it and walked towards Wanda with his arm around Pepper. After a whispered Sorry to her, he had walked back to his place like everyone else.

All of them had just sat there with her, in the backyard of Clint's farm, silent. Not even the ever loud and babbling Tony uttered a single word as he rubbed the back of a sobbing Pepper. Nick Fury and Maria Hill too had sat there in the back, with Thor having a soft conversation with Rhodey and Steve. Clint was rubbing Laura's back as he continuously stared at Wanda.

She had been quite since that nightmare in the hospital. She hadn't screamed, she hadn't cried since that night. And that is exactly what was troubling him. He had expected screams, tantrums, power blast and lots more. Yet, none had come. So he had tried to talk to her. But she had not talked to him. Or to anyone. Not even Steve could make her talk. Tony too had tried.

He had decided to keep Laura away from Wanda. She was 8 months along and stress was not good for her.

The funeral had gone without a glitch and now all of them were back to their places.

* * *

The first day, Clint had brought soup and determination to make her speak. Express her grief. So he started talking to her. 'Wanda, would you like to go out? No one is gonna recognize you here. You could use some fresh air, kid.' She had just looked at Clint with empty eyes, making no move to start on the soup. He had sat there for a long time on the chair beside her bed before finally deciding to feed her himself. She had not eaten since the hospital stay and the funeral was taking a toll on her, if the red color on her fingertips were anything to go by. He had to stop her before she decided to blow something up; Laura would freak out and Nat wouldn't really hesitate to pull a gun on Wanda.

He had wanted to let Wanda stay with them, in the process having the biggest fight of his entire career with Nick Fury. Fury had been insistent that he hadn't kept his family safe and alive for so long just so they go boom because of the sentimental fool that Barton was. Clint knew he was right; his family was in danger as long as Wanda was there because of her powers. But she was also his responsibility now. Fury had agreed only when Nat too had joined Clint and decided to lay low at the farm, at least for the time being, in the process silently agreeing to protect the Bartons.

So here he sat, with a bowl of hot soup, made by Nat as per the instructions given by Laura, for Wanda. She hadn't moved. She hadn't spoken. And she hadn't even acknowledged his presence. In fact she hadn't stopped staring at her bedsheet, which wasn't even printed with intriguing designs. So he just sat there, asking questions which were never answered. She had simply looked up when he had asked 'Is red your favorite color? Or is it blue?' The look in her eyes said something because he hit a pause on his questionnaire.

Thinking about getting back at the task on hand, he had taken the soup filled spoon upto her lips and predictably, she had tried to jerk his hand away. If not for his years of training, the bedsheet and her hand would've been stained. 'Look kid, I know you are grieving. You have lost something precious, I understand that. But that doesn't give you the right to neglect yourself. You have to eat. You haven't eaten in the last 30 hours. Yeah, they don't call me Hawkeye for nothing!', he added seeing Wanda's surprised look.' So now do both of us a favor and eat.' Surprisingly, she had complied and had obediently drank all the soup that Clint fed her. Then he had sat there, watching over her, before giving her the pills and tucking her in when she fell asleep.

* * *

'How is she? Did she try to do anything?' Nat asked as Clint came down the stairs.

'No Tasha. She is just hurt and grieving. She ate the soup as you can see,' he waved the empty bowl and continued, 'I gave her the medicines and now she is in a deep sleep. Without nightmares, hopefully. Are the kids in bed?' Nat nodded. 'I tucked them in. Laura was feeling tired. Are you sure, Clint?'

He looked up at her, knowing that the question was about Wanda staying at his farm. 'Yes. Yes I am. She is my responsibility now Nat. And seeing that she has nowhere to go, she should stay here until she feels better. Or wants to leave.'

'Well, if you are sure, then I don't have a reason to doubt. Regardless, I'll still stay here, if you don't mind.'

'Of course you can stay for as long as you like Nat. This is your home too. I think I'll call it a night. You?' 'Me too. It was a long day.' She whispered before making the trek up the stairs.

Clint entered the room hoping that Laura was asleep. They hadn't really talked about all of this with Clint being injured, then Wanda and then the funeral. And he had a feeling that she wasn't happy about it. About Wanda being there, with the kids around and all that.

He was never wrong about Laura except that this time, he was.

* * *

 _ **I'm working on another chapter and I think I'll end it there. Please tell me if you liked it!**_


	3. Letting go

**A/N: I finally decided to post this chapter. I was not happy with it bu I can't leave a story unfinished! Please leave a review telling me how you liked it.**

* * *

Laura was awake, waiting for him. 'Did she eat?', she asked. 'Yes, I fed her the soup and before you ask, no she didn't speak a word to me but she has taken her medicines and is now asleep.' Sighing, he replied. 'Clint?' She tentatively called out as he lay down on his side of the bed. 'Yeah?' 'What happened out there? And is she gonna be OK? She looks lost and weird.' Laura said softly as her fingers landed in his hair.

He tensed again, reliving Pietro's final moments again as he thought of the boy. '

We were all leaving the place; trying to get on the helicarrier. Wanda was guarding the drone and Thor was fighting with Ultron.

Tony was in the air with Rhodey. Nat had gone off to find Bruce... Calm him down. I reached the carrier when a mother was crying out for her child. And I couldn't just ignore her. The child was right there, wedged in debris so I ran out and got him free. A second later all hell broke loose as Ultron took hold of a Quinjet and started firing bullets faster than light. The child was still in my arms and Ultron turned the jet in our direction. We were gonna get hit any second but...' He paused to take a breath and to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat.

'The next thing I see is Pietro... He said... I'm sorry Laura. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to... I mean I wouldn't...',Clint buried his face in her neck as he sobbed.

She had simply let him cry his heart out for quite some time before trying to console him. 'Clint. Clint. Hush. Its gonna be fine. She will be fine. She is with us now. I promise you I will take care of her. She is such a nice girl. Just like our Lila. Clint! Listen to me. Please.' She resorted to pleading when Clint kept on crying in her arms. 'I know Laura. I know. I know you wouldn't turn Wanda out. Though, I had a feeling that you wouldn't like it. I mean she is dangerous and all that but you are cool with it. The kids are cool with just that she is so young. And she has been through so much. First losing her parents, then getting experimented on, having powers that she cannot control, siding with Ultron. And then, as the final blow, she loses the only person that had been with her for all her life. Her twin. I know what it is like to lose a sibling. But a twin? I just... She is just eighteen! Eighteen, Laura! He was eighteen. Pietro.' 'No Clint. She will not be what you were after that incident. Do you know why? Because she has something that you never had.'

'Really?' His fingers stilled on her back. ' What would that be?' Laura smiled before answering, 'She has me. She has you. She has a whole team to take care of her. She has a family Clint.' He smiled at that.

He had been quiet for sometime after that before falling asleep, while Laura threaded her fingers through his hair. Laura had laid awake for quite some time thinking about Wanda and Pietro. And their baby. She too had then drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next day, Clint had taken up chicken soup along with a batch of chopped fruits. She was sitting up staring at the wall this time. Without wasting time, he had started to speak to her... About little things. Things that went on the farm. Things that Lila had said that day. Things that were routine, at least for Laura and the kids, if not for him.'You know, the crops are ready. I'm gonna have to get them one of these days. Lila was asking me as to what she should call you?' She still didn't look at him. ' I told her to call you aunt Wanda, like she does to Nat. But the funny thing is, she can't get your name right. She keeps on calling you Aunt Anna. Call it the Frozen effect.'

Laura too had taken to spending time with Wanda; with an overprotective Natasha hovering around. It had been getting quite difficult for Laura to sit in one place, with an eight month pregnant stomach. So she dragged Wanda around with her when she went on walks in the farm. She brought Wanda in the kitchen when she made dinner for them, making small talk. It didn't matter that Wanda rarely spoke. She responded only in monologues and head gestures. The only time they had been able to hear her voice was when Wanda was with Lila and Cooper. Even then, the sentences did not consist of more than five words usually. But like Natasha pointed out, it was an improvement.

Still Clint had been worried. He had been worried sick for her. It was so very essential for Wanda to cry. To let her grief out of her. Express it. But she didn't. She didn't smile, she didn't cry. She was a walking robot which occasionally responded.

He had patiently waited for some time to pass so that he could at least talk to Wanda about all that had happened in peace. Because with Laura nearing her due date, a frustrated Natasha and two kids; he didn't want to take any chance.

* * *

Then came the big day. He had been present for both his children's births. Natasha had been there when Lila decided to finally grace them with her presence, 10 days later than the due date. This one though, seemed to be in a hurry; as Laura went into labor 15 days before she was due. Natasha, ever the calm one had to stop Clint from panicking and sent him to call the doctor, while she got things ready. The Doctor was there in an hour during which Clint had hardly sat down. Natasha was sure there would be burns in the carpet by the time Nathaniel shows up. She sat by Laura's bed, placing ice chips on her lips, something that should be Clint's job but he was too busy measuring the room in footsteps and occasionally yelling profanities for the doctor.

The kids were with Wanda. They had been told that their little brother was arriving and they should be out of the way so Wanda had been assigned as baby sitter.

Natasha, who still didn't trust Wanda completely had left as soon as the doctor had arrived; telling Laura that its gonna be alright and giving Clint a glare.

Clint placed Laura's hair back as another contraction passed, noticing that Natasha was gone before Laura scream echoed in the room. The nurse started to give him instructions: hold her hand, place the chips on her lips, she must stay hydrated, encourage her.

After what seemed like days, even though it was just 8 hours, Nathaniel Pietro Barton opened his blue eyes. Clint couldn't describe his happiness. Laura was ecstatic. This was her shortest labor.

'Maybe it had something to do with the name. He's fast.' She said smiling down at the baby in her arms, making the first genuine smile in days to creep on Clints lips. 'Would you like to hold him?' 'Yes. Yes.' He was eager. Eager to hold the baby he would've never even seen if not for Pietro.

Snuggled in his arms, the baby suddenly broke into a smile and Clint could swear on all the Gods that existed and mind you he had seen at least two of them, that the baby has smirked. Almost the same way as the little bastard did when he used to say 'you didn't see that coming?'

His thought was broken when a very annoyed Natasha said, 'Who do I have to kill to hold my namesake nephew?' Laura laughed a little as the speed with which Clint hands over the little one to her.

Natasha crooned to the baby, things that Laura couldn't hear and Clint doesn't repeat them because he knows that if he did, all the knives will be gone from the house when Natasha arrives. Its pretty harmless really because all Nat is saying is that she will protect the baby and teach him. The second part is the one which would concern Laura, so before she could say anything he asks her to go to sleep and leads Natasha out.

'Wanda?' He asks, as the door clicks shut. 'She down. Waiting. We put the kids to bed.' He listens, for a rustle downstairs to let him know of her presence but all that registers is silence. 'Maybe she went to her room. The kids can be tiring, you know!'

'Hmm...' He murmurs before taking the stairs. Natasha follows him to see Wanda sitting stoically, staring off into space, glaring at things they can't see. She hands over the baby to him when he gestures; with a growl and a warning. 'Be Careful.' Wanda doesn't seem to notice any of them.

In fact she notices them only when he steps into her line to vision. She looks up blankly before registering the squirming blanket in Clint's arms and standing up.

'Wanda, the baby is here.' He says moving towards her. She peers into the blanket, before asking, 'Laura?' Clint nods his head as her fingers reach out to touch the baby's cheek. 'Wanda would you like to hold him?' He asks carefully and smiles when she awkwardly holds out her hands. Clint places the baby in her arms, Natasha adjusting her arms to hold the baby. 'There you go. He is very fidgety.' Nat stepped back, keeping a careful eye on the witch.

'Wanda, meet Nathaniel Pietro Barton.' Clint whispered cautiously, watching as Wanda's smile froze on her face; while at the same time Nathaniel decided to open his eyes and reach for Wanda's finger on his cheek.

Natasha had moved towards her involuntarily but quietly, not to startle her into doing something that wouldn't be pleasant.

'He has your eyes and hair Clint.' Wanda said, her weirdly accented voice breaking the silence. 'Yeah. He's the first one to resemble me so much. There's no Laura there. Maybe except for the nose.'

'He's beautiful.' Wanda said, handing the baby back to Clint, her throat choking. The moment the baby was safely in Clint's arms she had sprinted out the door into the fields.

Both Clint and Natasha had been too startled to go after her at once. Handing Nathaniel to Natasha, he had said 'Stay' to her before running through the same door Wanda had ran out of just moments ago. He came to the start of the field in time to see red on her fingertips digging into the corn filed. She was sitting in a circle, crops in it destroyed, burned.

She was crying. His heart broke a little as her body shook violently; all the tears coming out at once.

He wiped his own tears as he went to her, arms going around her. And she without any resistance leaned against him, breaking down even more. Then she starts screaming. And he lets her. She says sorry so many times that he isn't sure who it is for. She yells her loudest and then cries more. Clint suddenly finds that he is crying too.

They both sit there for hours, simply crying, wondering why... they don't even notice when the first rays of the sun hits them. They don't notice when Natasha comes out and sees them Surprisingly, he doesn't notice that Wanda has fallen asleep in his arms, finally crying and letting it all out. He barely notices when Natasha helps him to get up with Wanda in his arms and leads them back home.

He places her in the bed, tucking her in before sitting down against her bed. Natasha leaves them both there as he falls asleep, head on her mattress.

He is woken up by noises of his children playing about, Nat's high pitched voice, Laura's remarks and something that sounded delightfully like Wanda's laugh. His eyes snap open, registering the new sound. The three women look up at him as he enters the room, smiles on their faces.

And then Wanda smiles, the brightest smile ever. All he can think is that it will be all right. They will be fine.

* * *

 **A/N: Good or bad? Do tell me.**


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